Farewell, Old Friends.

Tomorrow I will say goodbye to my cervix, my uterus, my fallopian tubes, my ovaries and the very top part of my vagina.

I don't know how I feel.

I'm partly relieved that I can finally take the first step to getting better. I'm partly angry that all of this is happening to me. I'm partly terrified because I know there are so many things that can go wrong during and after the surgery. I'm partly sad because I know that pieces of my body will be taken out and thrown away like trash.

All I can say for sure is that I can't even think straight with this pounding headache I've had for the last four hours. Why did they instruct me not to eat at all the day before the surgery? "Clear liquids only," they cautioned. Generally, before any surgery, people are told not to eat or drink after midnight the night before surgery. I expected that. But I've been living on water, gatorade, Jell-o and plain, chicken broth all day today, and it's not working well for me. Between the nausea, the lightheadedness and the explosions behind my eyes, I can't even concentrate on what I'm typing. In one hour I'll be banned from the kitchen. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight until after the surgery.

But the operation isn't starting until 1 PM!! No food for 24 hours today, then no food or drinks for 13 hours before the procedure. I thought they wanted me to keep up my strength. This is NOT the way to do it.

Ok, I'm going to try to sleep now. I can't think. I have nothing intelligent or witty to write. I'm sure I won't be able to get in the computer tomorrow, but I'll do my best to try on Wednesday.

Thank you to all of you for your well-wishes and prayers. They are very much appreciated.